Heart Struggles
by unusualotp-chan
Summary: Chris has caught the flu: How are she and a work worn Kinnosuke going to deal with it, especially when Chris finds out what's really going on with her body? This story is about the newly-weds, Kinnosuke and Chris dealing with the struggles of being a young couple in Tokyo. Kinnosuke/Chris
1. I've caught the Flu

I was sitting at the window seat folding silverware into rolls when a bout of nausea washed over me causing me to gag. Blast it! I'd gotten that flu that was going around. It had been nearly three and a half months since we'd arrived from Britain. We'd only been married four months and he was gonna see me at my worst. This is not going as planned. I pushed the folded silverware towards the middle of the table, making room for more.

I continued to fold for a bit until another wave of nausea battered my stomach and head. I covered my mouth, not wishing to puke all over the newly washed and folded silverware. I rushed towards the bathroom, running into Kinnosuke who had been carrying a large bucket of water. Thankfully he had a good grip on it and didn't drop it but it did spill some. I continued to run past him anyway. He called after me, not with anger, more with concern. I suppose he knew that if something wasn't wrong I would have apologized and helped him clean it up.

I entered the Women's with very little time to get to a toilet or a sink. I reached the sink and puked up my breakfast, retching several times before I was done. I heaved once or twice and nothing came up so I wiped my mouth with the nearby paper towels. There were tears in my eyes from the effort. My stomach felt like it was in knots. I was covered with a thin layer of sweat.

I went to leave the bathroom but Kinnosuke had pushed open the door before I reached it. He had respectfully stayed outside of the bathroom. He knew how much I'd hate to be seen by him in that state. There was a worried look on his face and a white clean towel in his hand. His cap that he usually wore in the kitchen had fallen off. His hair had the look it had when he'd run his hands through it many times, awry strands of curls going this way and that.

"Are you alright Chrissy? It sounded pretty bad..." He looked at his hands. He was really worried. I could tell. I put my hand on his cheek. He looked up.

"I'm okay, baby. I think I've caught that Flu that's been going around. I remember that Kotoko had it right after I visited her last week? It's probably just a twenty-four-hour bug," He sighed, conceding to me. He didn't look any less worried though.

"Alright, if it makes you feel any better I'll go visit the hospital and get a check up," I patted his cheek. "I'm sure it's fine though," He put his hands on my hips and looked into my eyes with sincerity.

"Well, I want you to go home right now. I'll clean the bathroom and see you this afternoon. I'll get Mr. Aihara to let me off, maybe I can switch shifts with one of my coworkers, yeah? I'd take you home if I could, but you know how it is," I did know how it was. He carried more than his weight at this restaurant. Sometimes he wouldn't come home until midnight or later because he'd been prepping food for the next day or going through stocks and then he'd leave at six the next day so he could get a head start. It took a toll on the young man. My man.

I hugged him for a minute before I said "I guess I'll go now," With and exhausted tone.

"I want you to take the car, I can walk," He said, pulling away from me.

I tried to protest for a bit, but he eventually persuaded me. Just because I was sick didn't mean that I wanted the man I love to be more tired out than he already was. It hurt my heart to see that weary look in his eyes. The eyes that were always full of fervor and passion when we were dating. It made me want to cry a bit. And after we'd said our goodbyes I actually did. I missed him the second I got in the car. I cried all the way home, muttering my feelings for kinnosuke to myself as I drove.

When I got into the apartment I slid my shoes of and began to take off my work clothes, readying myself for a bath. I turned on the bath through a monitor in the kitchen as I got myself a cup of water. I knew that getting dehydrated would be the worst thing. I went into the hallway closet, grabbing a hair and body towel off of the shelves. The monitor beeped from the kitchen, signalling that the bath was full.

I walked into the bathroom, stripping off what remained of my smelly work clothing. I set the towels on the sink and eased myself into the steaming water. 'Thank God for baths' I thought to myself. I grabbed my phone from where I'd set it, intent on calling the nearby hospital. Kinnosuke and I didn't have a family doctor at the time so I just supposed I'd get a random doctor so when the woman on the phone said "Alright, so nine O'clock tomorrow with Doctor Naoki Irie…" I was very surprised. I'd thought that Naoki would be extremely busy having just become a resident. I replied with an affirmative. But I didn't know how I'd feel with a male doctor. So right before the woman hung up I said "Is there a chance I could get a female doctor? I know it's not like he's an OBGYN but I'm still not the most comfortable…" She replied with the names of a few female doctors and I chose one randomly.

I hung up the phone as the conversation ended. I sighed. Because I wanted a different doctor the meeting was going to be delayed by two days. I figured I'd be over the bug by then anyway and Kinnosuke and I could save on medical bills.

I immersed myself into the water, covering everything but my hair. I thought of Kinnosuke and his worried face and tired eyes. I thought of his brown skin that was so often covered with smudges of smoke. I thought of the tiny nearly invisible scars on his arms and face, the ones caused by grease and water. I thought of his scent, the muskyness of the grilled meat and sauteed vegetables that softened the stronger more masculine side of it. His hair always smelled of smoke and char, I think it came from him being around the grill so often. Right under the kitchen hood. The same kitchen that made his skin glow with a thin layer of sweat and grime. The same kitchen that caused him to smile and grin at me with joy when he'd been given a compliment on his food. He'd show me his perfect white teeth as a response to the adoration that he received from patrons and coworkers alike.

That same kitchen that caused him to flop into bed at ungodly hours nearly every night. The same kitchen that caused him to wake me up with a kiss every morning before the sun had risen above the mountains. The same kitchen that cause him to run his hands through his with frustration every time something went wrong. The same kitchen that give him that look in his eyes. The look that I hated, and still do. That weary, hurt animal look. The one that said "I don't know if I can do this," His confidence had been taken along with his sleep. Taken by the work master that was his love for food. His love that had turned into an obligation.

Then I realized: Kinnosuke can't work there anymore. It's killing him. He needs to feel that love he'd had for food again. There was no way that would ever happen if things continued like they did. Master Aihara had taken something from him and I would not allow it to continue.

I got out of the tub and dried off. I need to mentally prepare myself. I walked to the bedroom and put on some comfortable home clothing. The clock said three PM. He should be here soon. I started to rehearse what I wanted to say to him. Going over it in my mind again and again. Whittling it down to less than a paragraph. By the time I'd made it there It was already five and I was starving.

"Kinnosuke should be here by now. This is practically evening," I said to myself as I walked to the kitchen. I began to to pick through the cupboards. Eventually I settled on ramen. I boiled a pot of water and sifted through the refrigerator for ingredients. I decided I needed to call Kinnosuke. This was getting ridiculous, it was near five-thirty! I dialed his number on my cell. It rang seven times and then stopped.

"Hello?" I said tentatively.

"Is this Kinnosuke Ikezawa's Wife?" Anxiety settled into my bones and I froze. It was the voice of a young man, but I didn't recognize it.

"This is she," My eyes began to fill with tears 'What had happened?' I thought to myself.

"Mr. Ikezawa left to go home about twenty-five minutes ago," I sighed with relief.

"Oh, thank God," I whispered under my breath. "Alright, thank you. You can leave his phone in his locker, he'll pick it up tomorrow,"

I hung up after exchanging pleasantries and getting his name, which was Kousuke Tachibana, he had said that he was a high school part timer that had just started working that afternoon.

I smoothed my tanktop with my hands and brushed off my silk pajama pants. Kinnosuke would be home any second. The pot had began to boil, I turned it off and went to cutting up vegetables to put into the ramen. I was grabbing some ham and eggs from the refrigerator when I heard the lock on the door click.

Kinnosuke! I ran to the door and stumbled into his arms as he opened it.


	2. Kinnosuke gives me anxiety

"Woah! Chris, you sure are energetic," He smiled and tugged me into a tighter hug. "Maybe I should come home early more often," He suggested as he kissed the top of my head.

"Yeah! You stupid husband! You would get more greetings like this," I said, kissing his face multiple times, stopping on his lips. He grinned. "Yeah, I like this-" He said in a deeper tone. I pulled away just as he went to kiss me harder.

"I'm in the middle of making ramen, babe," I said grinning from ear to ear. It's like all my worries vanished when he entered the apartment. I quickly pecked him on the nose and pulled out of the embrace. I grabbed his hand and led him to the kitchen.

"While I finish making ramen why don't you shower?" I told him, with a light but commanding tone. He laid his head on my shoulder. I could feel his weariness seep into my body. I leaned up against the counter.

"I just want to be with you...I feel like I never see you these days, I-I know it's my fault and I-" He stopped. My shoulder felt wet. He choked.

"Oh, Kinnosuke… my love…" I rubbed his back with my hands. He cried for quietly for a bit and then choked out a sob. This in turn made me cry.

"Kin-Kinnosuke-You know I love you? I lo-love you s-so much…" I choked out through sobs. He pulled me into an embrace, wrapping his whole body around me, almost tight enough to restrict my breathing.

"I love you-that's why-that's why I'm gonna-" He choked again. I rubbed his back, trying to tell him through my hands 'it's okay'.

After Kinnosuke had stopped crying I pushed him into the bathroom, with tears still in my eyes, to take a shower. I had told him I'd take care of everything, getting him a towel, making ramen and fixing the dining/living room for dinner. I headed back to the kitchen and turned on the pot of water, yet again, and started chopping veggies and meat to place in it.

Since I'd started dating Kinnosuke I really got handy with a knife. I chopped through the green onions with ease, slicing them into centimeter length pieces. I'd never really been handy in a kitchen at all growing up. Everything was done for me, I was never even asked to help with chores. That's kind of the reason I jump at the chance to do things like making dinner and setting tables now. Although I've got some helpers now.

The water came to a boil and I placed the noodles in with rest of the ingredients, adding the spices last. Kinnosuke had just come into the kitchen, towelling his hair, as I set the pot on the table.

"Oh-Kinnosuke! The ramen's hot, come get some," I patted the ground next to me. He smiled at me. It didn't reach his eyes. My heart constricted at the sight. But I bit my tongue.

"It smells wonderful Chris. Are you feeling better? I'm surprised you can eat with this flu that you have," He said, sitting beside me. I picked up a pair of chopsticks.

"I'm ravenous actually. I didn't feel hungry until a minute ago but now I feel like I could eat a horse!" I exclaimed.

"Do people in britain eat horses?" He asked and served himself a bowl of ramen.

"Oh, no, It's an expression-it means that I'm so hungry that I could eat the equivalent of a horse," I explained, patting his leg.

"Oh, that makes more sense," He said, stuffing ramen noodles into his mouth.

I grinned at him, forgetting my troubles for a bit.

When we'd finished eating he opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something then decided against. Instead he just smiled and pulled me into a comfortable embrace. We watched TV for a bit after that and headed to bed. Kinnosuke had asked if I'd felt nauseous I said I didn't feel sick and he shouldn't worry. Then the clock turned to 4:42 AM and my nausea woke me up, forcing me to run to the bathroom. Kinnosuke woke up immediately afterward, he then followed me to the bathroom and rubbed my lower back as I threw up the spicy ramen.

"When is your doctor's appointment? I hope soon, this bug doesn't seem to be letting up, honey," I went to reply to him but more puke came out instead of words.

I heaved a couple more times before managing to say "It's on Wednesday," breathlessly.

"What time?" He said, not stopping rubbing my back.

"Ten. It's okay if you can't-" I started.

"I'll take you. It's really important to me that I come," He said gently.

"Okay, but don't make any promises. I know it's the day that inventory needs to be taken, so I understand if something happens," I said looking up at him.

"I won't make any promises, but know I'll try alright? You're more important than anything to me," He said and patted my hair.

I got up from the toilet and turned on the sink tap.

"I feel the same way about you," I said quietly. I splashed my face with water and rinsed out my mouth. When I reached for my toothbrush he began to talk.

"I want to quit at Mr. Aihara's-before you say anything let me explain," I'd given him an alarmed look. "He just hired a part timer. He hired him to train. To take my place. He's easing me away from him. I know he wants me to start a restaurant of my own. Although we haven't really talked about it extensively he knows that's what I want…" He drifted off before a determined expression settled on his face. "I think I'll talk to Aihara about it tomorrow. Money will be tight for awhile but we can do it. As long as you support me I think we can do anything,"

I felt inspired. I'd never heard him be so eloquent with his words. I wonder if Naoki knew he sounded like this. When he's determined he's somehow smarter. It's hard to explain. More focused maybe? There haven't been a lot of times in my life where I've seen him this way, but they all have stuck vividly in my mind.

"I'll support you. I'm here for you and my family has lots of money so-" I started to say.

"No. We need to do this on our own strength, that was the deal. Otherwise I'm not fit to be your husband, and I agree," His expression was unwavering and cool.

It almost felt like the humid summer air had frozen. 'He's serious,' I thought to myself. I felt astounded. I'd never expected to see this side of him. My father told me how he'd stood his ground when he asked for my hand, but I was still surprised.

After that I finished brushing my teeth and went to bed with a mildly queasy stomach and a heart full of love.

"Chris, baby, wake up,"

I felt a tickle in my ear and rolled over onto my stomach. I knew it was Kinnosuke. He gently prodded my upper back with his fingers. I opened my eyes, catching the time on the bedside clock. It read 6 AM.

"I don't wanna get up. It's not even light out yet, and besides we both know I'm not going into work today," I grumbled.

"Can't you at least give me a kiss?" He whined.

"Uuuughhh, fine," I rolled over and let him kiss my face several times, which eaked a small smile out of me. I ruffled his already messy hair a bit after he stopped.

"Can't you stay a bit longer?" I pouted.

"I wish I could, but no. I'm going to talk to Aihara first thing. I'll be jobless by the end of the week most likely so I better get a move on,"

He made breakfast, like the wonderful husband he is. It was kimchi and omurice. Nothing special, but when he made it, it tasted better than the best gourmet cuisine. Maybe it's because I'm lovestruck by him, maybe he's just a good cook, I can't really say. I'm a bit biased. After we ate he kissed my forehead and told me to rest and not doing anything too straining on my body. I brushed him off but I knew he was right. He then dressed in his cook's uniform and left to meet his soon to be ex-boss.

He came back that evening grinning from ear to ear.

"Aihara said that he wants me to train the new kid until I've got all my business plans sorted out. I suppose I was rushing into things a bit anyway." He chuckled to himself. "But I do have an idea. I want you to call your Father's secretary tomorrow. I have a business proposal for him. I know he's in Tokyo right now so it shouldn't be hard to get an appointment. What do you think?" He looked up at me with his obsidian gaze with questioning.

"Oh...ah I think this is wonderful. It's just kind of surprising you know? Little surreal…" I trailed off. His face turned to one of embarrassment and concern.

"Oh, well if you don't think it's a good idea-" He started before I cut him off.

"No! No, I think it's wonderful. I'm just not registering it very well? I'm just a bit tired. But yes I'll call father in the morning and see what I can do-" I smiled.

"I want you to call his secretary, not him. This is real business. Not a favor. I don't want handouts from a businessman just because he's my father-in-law. That's bad business dontcha think?" His eyes twinkled with excitement. I grinned at him. He pulled me into a hug exclaiming: "This is going to be the best thing that ever happened to us Chrissy! The best thing in the ever!"He attempted to swing me around our very small apartment but ultimately failed and we landed on the couch, me on top of him. I giggled. He rested his chin on my head and said.

"But this is gonna be tough. It's gonna be financially and emotionally difficult. You've gotta promise to stick with me through every second okay? I can't do this without you, you know that," He sighed. "You're the key in all of this. I'm doing it for you. I woulda been happy with Mr. Aihara but I want to give you a better life, one where we don't have to scrounge for every penny, like how my mom had to," I looked him in the eyes.

"I don't care about money as long as I'm with you. I could live in a ditch and if you were there I'd be happy,"


	3. Doctors Visit

A/N start

I'd really appreciate it if you guys would review my work, any critique is welcome. And without further ado, onto the story!

A/N end

The next morning I had Kinnosuke wake me up so I could leave early to my doctor's appointment. The trains in Tokyo run like clockwork but you never know what sort of delays that I could possibly have.

I dressed myself in something cute but easy to take off in case the doctor needed me to. I waited at the station for a little while, I wanted to get there as soon as possible but I regretted it. Autumn weather isn't exactly pleasant at eight twenty AM. And I hadn't dressed properly, I should've looked at the weather before I left. Oh well. I got on the train and arrived at the right station with fifteen minutes to spare. It was a five minute walk to the hospital so if I didn't have any delays I would make it there exactly when I needed to. I walked down the busy sidewalk alongside many businessmen and women, I felt a bit out of place to be honest. Then a young woman wearing a medical mask practically ran past me. She was coughing something terrible. Probably trying to catch the train home.

I reached the hospital nine minutes before nine. Perfect. I sat in the waiting room for fifteen minutes and then my name was called. A nurse walked me down a hallway into a small room and asked me to wait. I suddenly felt nauseous and searched for a trashcan of somesort to puke into. My eye caught on next to the door, I dove for it and began to retch into it. As I was doing so someone tried to open the door from the other side. They stopped after they noticed something was in the way and patiently waited for me to move.

I finished up and scooted out of the way of the door. I heard a calm voice say "Mrs Ikezawa, would you kindly seat yourself upon the bed?" I obliged and came face to face with none other than Naoki Irie. My surprise must have been obvious because he responded by saying "The doctor you were supposed to see today came in with a terrible cold, we sent her home immediately. So clearly she wasn't able to see you, they instead chose me. I was the only one available, I apologize on the behalf of the hospital," He bowed his head in a respectful gesture.

He looked tired. I suppose residency isn't exactly easy.

I hugged the trashcan to my chest "Um, thank you. It's too bad that she's sick, I hope she gets better,"

Naoki smiled "Yes, as do I," He picked up a clipboard from the desk next to him. "So we'll have to start with your medical history because this is your first time visiting this hospital," He asked me questions about my family and myself for a bit before saying "Now how have you been feeling lately? Let's figure this bug out, eh? I've already ruled out the 24 hour virus as you've been sick for a couple days now," I sighed "Well it's really just nausea and a bit of fatigue, no achiness like I usually get when I'm sick, and the funny thing is I'm really only nauseous in the morning and late at night. It pretty much goes away in the afternoon and evening,"

Naoki looked at the clipboard briefly before asking me "When was your last period?"

I balked. "It's been nearly three months I think! I've been so busy lately that I didn't even notice,"

Noaki wrote something down before saying "We're gonna do some tests, but from this information alone I'm pretty sure you're a good few months pregnant,"

I wanted to protest him, tell him that I'd been really good about birth control, but maybe I hadn't...I couldn't know, I mean Kinnosuke and I had only been married for barely over four months at the time. Maybe we just weren't as good at it as we'd thought.

Noaki stifled a laugh "I guess you guys are more on top of it than me and Kotoko,"

I chuckled " I guess we are,"

Naoki had asked me to pee in a cup and asked me a few more questions before leaving and then coming back to take the cup. I waited in the room alone for a bit, contemplating how I should tell Kinnosuke. Would he be happy? I'm sure he would but now is such a bad time for a baby with the business and everything, not to mention medical bills. And I won't be able to work as much...maybe I should get a job as a phone advertiser or something I thought to myself.

Then Naoki came in carrying some papers and another clipboard. He smiled at me as he sat down. "You're ten weeks pregnant. You can get an ultrasound if you like,"

I glanced away. Do I want an ultrasound? I should ask Kinnosuke. I've got to tell him, it's his baby too. I ran my fingers through my hair. "I think I'll talk it over with Kinnosuke first,"

Naoki looked at the papers and then back up at me. "Okay, well I can prescribe you some morning sickness medication, it will help with nausea. Call the hospital if it doesn't and I'll prescribe you something else. You'll also want to set up prenatal visits as soon as soon as you can," Naoki handed me some paperwork to fill out and handed me some for Kinnosuke to fill out before I left, he then lead me down the hallway and we chatted a bit. He invited Kinnosuke and I over for dinner sometime, I told him I'd love to.

Right as he was going to say goodbye I asked him not to mention anything to Kotoko. "I want it to be a surprise for everyone, I know how much Kotoko loves babies and I want to be the one to tell her. Also I'm not out of my third trimester yet and you know how pregnancies can be,"

He nodded "Of course, I wouldn't have told her anyway, patients confidentiality and all that,"

I smiled and bowed respectfully. "Have a good day Naoki,'

I filled out the papers and left. Naoki had given me a prescription so I headed straight for the pharmacy down the street. It was nearly eleven O'clock and the sunlight cheerfully filtered through the buildings like honey as it warmed my face. A cold gust of wind blew down the street making my hair erupt into a spray of blonde fire. I tightened my scarf around my neck and burrowed my face into it.

I walked into the pharmacy bringing in many leaves along with me. I gave the clerk my prescription and waited for a bit while he found it. He returned after a bit and I thanked him in japanese and wished him a nice day in english as I left.

The wind had died down a bit and my scarf comfortably rested on my shoulders without blowing this way and that. The walk was uneventful except for a pair of dogs that got into a fight that their owners had to pull them out of. It was rather funny, as one was a black lab and the other a blonde. I skirted the fight, but nonetheless watched until it was done. I knew I had a bit of time before my train so I grabbed a cup of green tea from a coffee shop on the corner before the train stop. It warmed my gloveless hands as I stood at the stop.

The train arrived exactly on time, as usual, so different from london. I quite liked it. I got on the train and saw Kotoko. She was wearing light blue scrubs and pink tennis shoes with a coat that was far too big. She always looked cute, but she almost looked more cute when she wasn't trying to.

I walked over to her "Kotoko, how are you?" I asked quietly. She looked up at me and smiled, we barely had a difference in height but I was wearing slight heels.

"I'm just now heading home from work, how are you?" She whispered, wary of upsetting the other train riders.

"I'm doing alright, I'm also heading home, I'm absolutely famished, I can't wait to have lunch,' I whispered back.

"Why don't you come over to my place? My mom hasn't seen you in quite a while I'm sure she'd love to,"

I contemplated it for a bit before asking "You didn't work too long of a shift didi you?"

"I don't feel tired and I hate sleeping during the day, I'll probably go to bed around six," She replied.

After that I texted Kinnosuke that I'd be visiting Kotoko and having lunch with her he texted me back a thumbs up emoji. I don't know why he's so obsessed with emojis, I've never use them.

The Irie house was clean as always. The white walls glistened with polish and every surface was rid of dust and clutter. Mrs. Irie really did keep a tidy house. So different than Kotoko. I chuckled at the thought. Kotoko took her shoes off at the door and yelled "Mom, I'm Home! Chris is here for lunch! I'm gonna go change quick!~" Her and Naoki's forms of communication, It still baffled me how they got along so well. Mrs. Irie met at the door as I unzipped my boots and took them off.

"Why, hello miss Ro-Ikezawa. Mrs. Ikezawa. It really is a pleasure to see you again, how are you and Kinnosuke doing?" She asked as she stood patiently in the hall.

I finished taking off my boots and bowed " Doing quite well thank you,"

She unfolded her hands "Oh how wonderful. Would you please join me in the kitchen? I've started to make curry and it's almost done, I just need a touch of something, but I can't figure it out,"

I followed her into the kitchen, her slippers padding along the floor. "How is Yuuki doing? He's in middle school isn't he?" She turned around as she reached the island. "Seventh grade, eighth in the spring. He's not as smart as Naoki but I don't mind. He's got lots of friends and even a little girlfriend, being sociable is better than being smart I think,"

I smiled "I agree, having friends is really important. Now, what's up with that curry?"

Mrs. Irie turned to the stove excitedly "I'm not really sure, it doesn't taste right for some reason, here you taste it," She beckoned me over as scooped a spoonful out of the pot.

I took a sip, I knew exactly what was wrong. "There's no tonkatsu sauce in this," I said. Kinnosuke always puts tonkatsu sauce in his curry and now I do to.

Mrs. Irie turned to face me. "I can't believe I forgot to put tonkatsu sauce in it. My head is in the clouds today. So much is going on right now I can barely make out up from down," Her eyes were big but she was smiling.

I chuckled. "What has happened that's so earth shaking?"

"Well Kotoko has just found out that she's pregnant, she hasn't told Irie yet though and I only found out by accident. Now don't say anything, dear Kotoko doesn't know I know,"

I was speechless. This woman had just told me the biggest thing that's ever happened to the Irie family like it was nothing. And I wasn't supposed to say anything? Good grief. I just smiled in response and hoped Kotoko would come into the kitchen as soon as possible.

She did and we ended up having a nice filling lunch that warmed my belly. I'm glad miss Irie didn't have any hard feelings towards me anymore. I think me getting married softened her up a bit. I told Mrs Irie that I really enjoyed the lunch and would be happy to join her again sometime before I left. I then walked out in the the afternoon weather and walked home. The apartment was quite close to the Irie's, barely over a mile. When I got home I had barely taken off my shoes before I flopped down on my bed and passed out.


End file.
